Crossroads

Sometimes you feel like life has led you to the crossroads.

You have options. You could go straight, left, right or return in the direction you came from.

I can see security making us want to turn around and go back. It is what we know, what we are comfortable with. It’s the fear of the unknown that makes us hesitate. You see this is were I am at this point of my life. I’m at the crossroads. I’ve got my foot in the air to make a move but I’m hesitant, I’m scared, I’m terrified of uncertainty. This requires me to step outside of my comfort zone and I don’t know if I can do it. I’ve always lacked confidence in being able to complete anything. I get gunghoo into doing something new then I get scared and turn and run away with my tail between my legs.

The economy has got me scared to death. I wasn’t scared when it tanked the first time. I was blissfully ignorant. But having watched it and people suffer through it, it really scares me now. I’m in construction, my husband is in construction and I am far from feeling confident. This feeling has just snuck up on me the last couple of months. It’s all I can think about. I am loosing sleep over this. I know it’s anxiety but I don’t want to go on medicine for it. What bothers me the most is the unknown. If I had a plan “B” I’d probably feel better than I do now. But what is plan “B”. I am first and foremost a mother. I need to protect my cubs. Make sure they have a roof over their heads and food in their bellies above all else.

I’ve stepped into a plan “B” so to speak but I have yet to get going and get fired up. I doubt myself. I am just so stuck in the mud right now.  Can I do this?